i've neglected this blog.

death has been around.

• my uncle died 10/9
• my mom's cousin died 10/15

my mom's away at her cousin's funeral right now.  on monday and tuesday i attended my uncle's wake and funeral...it was alright, but strange. he did not look like my uncle...although he was only in his forties, he looked about seventy, caked in makeup in the casket.  i suppose i didn't see him much when he was sick, so it was a little shocking.  he was ready to go, though, finished with the pain.  all 4 funerals that i've been to have been in the same funeral home, by now the employees are recognizable faces. i guess it's just been a tough time for my dad's side of the family.  i'm always amused by my uncle donny, the preacher.  he wears a robin egg blue suit and speaks loudly through mangled teeth, reading from a seemingly antediluvian bible. There was a lot of stress on Ecclesiastes and also the fact that my uncle was a "GENEALOGY GENIUS!!!"

we should not fear death.  death is neutral, complete nothingness, static.  what we should fear is not living well.  but that's obvious.

today was leagues for cross country, so i missed another full day of school.  the course is wonderful, except for a grueling slight incline in the beginning of the third mile around a corn field.  i got my personal record - 21:25, with a strong kick at the end; i must have passed three to six girls. i'm really unsure because i was hardly conscious, just flying.

i'm a vegetarian now, too.  i'm covered in walnut crumbs as i type. how refreshing!!