So there's a word for what I have been so susceptible to: limerence. But that's more of a smallish dark cloud in my mind, no longer is it an encompassing black fog penetrating my entire body. And I'm realizing - "I will never be your friend. Ever." How could I? I care too much.

On Friday Michelle flaked out on me, but I've learned to shrug my shoulders at that sort of thing, which seems to be quite a trend among my peers. We got to hang out last night instead, babysat some devils, and practiced a sloppy, overly cute version of Indian Summer by Beat Happening with our voices and guitars. I left her house with a big, goofy smile. I also went out to see Encounters at the End of the World with Justin on Friday - it was an excellent, excellent Herzog documentary about Antarctica, with philosophical ideas about the insignificance of humankind shown through nature, science, and human tendencies. At the same time it was uplifting and inspirational...sort of like standing next to the ocean and feeling very small, but not caring because you are so in awe by the power of the overwhelming sea. Justin's been a good big brother figure for me lately. He also gave me lots of vitamin C. I'm glad we're sticking together, because oftentimes i realize that in many ways we are in the same boat. Otherwise, I had a tough cross country practice, worked until my head was pounding and my legs were aching, won a soccer game. I have too much homework. Euro test tomorrow and a bunch of english assignments due.

Even though it is my favorite season, Fall is so lonely, too lonely, and forces nostalgia upon me. Goodbye, green.