Junior Year Blues

I don't like doing homework for the same reasons that I don't like cleaning my room.  Even after you finish, you know you'll be doing it again soon.  Ideally, I would be able to accept my workload day by day, without letting the papers or clothes pile up.  Realistically, I just...don't.

My occupation is student, but are scholarly pursuits supposed to occupy every part of my being? Is anything supposed to occupy every part of my being?  But what is life without obsession?  We need something to trust, we crave constants: God, learning, love, hate.  One day I walked into school and smiled, thinking, "I can always count on school to be cold and monotonous, I can count on kids in the hallway to be assholes, I can count on these aluminum tiles, concrete walls, and fluorescent lights."

At this point in my life, I feel pressured to make school my obsession, schoolwork my constant, a swollen brain my goal.  I do like learning, but it's the authoritative pressure that makes me hesitate, and many high schoolers would probably agree with me. I do not think we are teenage rebels. I do not think the term "teenage rebel" is fair.  It is a term coined by adults, who believe we are pests to be controlled, not humans capable of making their own decisions.

If I were free, maybe I would choose to complete my homework.

For now, I'm going to go downstairs and "play the devil's music" on the guitar. Bye.